Up and down

I keep going through patches of being pleased/happy that I finally have a job on the cards, then subsequent patches of being indifferent/down. Every five minutes I seem to find myself doing calculations in my head of how much money I'll actually have to spend. Take the salary, then minus tax, rent, petrol, and there isn't a lot left. And it gets worse. We have two cars here at home, one is used all the time by my parents, and the other is only ever used by me and my sister (and neither of us use it much in any case). Anyway, I had a conversation with my dad last night, and it went something like this:

Dad: so, James, how are you going to be getting to Heathrow when you start this job?

James: well, the first 5 weeks is all training, which takes place right next to Hatton Cross Station, so I'll get the tube initially.

Dad: [a sick facial expression appears] Hatton Cross?!?! Jeez, James, that's a bit of a drag!

James: it's not that bad!

Dad: so, how are you going to get to Heathrow after the 5 weeks training?

James: well I guess I'll have to drive.

Dad: [eyes light up, as if he's been looking forward to this moment for weeks] You're going to drive?!?! You're going to have to get a car then aren't you?

[James exhibits a blank, bored, tired face and prepares for the monologue]

And you're also going to have to get your own insurance policy....

[James decides against listening to the monologue and leaves room]


... so, looks like I'll have to buy a car and get my own insurance on top of everything else. Which is going to leave me with more or less nothing. I'd nearly get as much money staying on the dole!

All of these calculations flying around in my head have led me to have some pretty strange thoughts on other jobs I could look into. I just spent about 20 minutes researching being a gravedigger. It would be peaceful, just me and the great outdoors, no one hassling me. But it turns out you need to go on a TRAINING COURSE and that I would have to PAY FOR IT! Really, what is this world coming to? Over my period of unemployment, I've lost so much faith in the recruiment industry, and in society in general. The bureaucracy and BS that life is riddled with today is utterly ludicrous. You need a qualification to do manual labour. You need a qualification to be a gravedigger. For whatever reason, I couldn't get a job doing shredding in a bank.

Anyway, enough whining for now. Drinks later with the boys. I'll probably be playing poker all afternoon before that.

Thanks for reading.

Time for a decent post

Ok, time to see if I can write a decent post, I think there a few things I have to talk about. Might as well start off with the 'diet' situation. The Police got in touch and said that I have an assessment day in early April, and that there are physical tests and so on, so I thought it would be a good idea to try to reduce my weight a bit. Whether I'm actually going to be attending the assessment is another issue, as I'll have started working for BA by then, but I'm sure there'll be a few posts in the near future about that problem. So, losing weight.... I went to the gym with Daz and we nearly killed ourselves on the bikes and rowing machines, and I made a pledge that I wouldn't drink beer. So when we went into town on Wednesday to watch Arsenal v AC Milan, we started in Walkabout on Charing Cross Road. A pint was over ₤3, a glass of white was ₤2, and a bottle of Chardonnay was ₤7.90. Obviously, I thought I was onto a winner! I started off with a glass of white just to test the waters, then soon after got a bottle. That was down the hatch by half time. For some reason they were showing the Man Utd game on the big screen and Arsenal were only on the little TVs with no sound (how many bars in Manchester would have been showing Arsenal I wonder...) so we left and went to a bar near Piccadilly Circus. Had another two glasses during the second half, then met up with Alex, Carl and DP. Couple of beers. So yeah, it was a lot of alcohol. On the tube home, we got to Oxford Circus and I got off to change to get to Baker Street for the Met Line. The others stayed on the train though, haha! Turns out, I thought we were on the Central Line from Tottenham Court Road (which is where we went on the way into town), but instead we were on the Bakerloo Line from Piccadilly Circus, which was going to Baker Street. So I got off, went all the way up to the top of the station, looked for the Bakerloo Line, and went all the way back down to the same platform. Thankfully I caught the last train, it would have been a total disaster if I'd missed it! Consequently, I have abandoned the no-beer policy. For my own good.

Next. A few weeks ago I wrote to MTV with an idea I had for a gameshow, haven't heard anything back (wasn't expecting to), but had a good conversation with everyone last night about the idea. They all seemed to like it, and suggested making a version for YouTube. I'm slightly worried though that someone will nick the idea; I don't know how copyrighting works and all that, so at the moment I don't want to outline the show on here! I'll try to organise a filming session or something before I start at BA so I can put something up on the Tube, should be a laugh at the very least!

Next. Business. The idea of running my own business / the concept of entrepreneurship has been on my mind a lot lately, and my mind has been spinning with trying to come up with original business ideas etc. Trouble is, I can't really seem to 'think' properly here at home, I always end up getting distracted. So today I was playing with the idea of heading down to Starbucks by myself (lol) and sitting there just.... thinking. Jesus, reading this back, it sounds like I'm on the edge! I just really fancy the idea of setting up a small company or project, something I can really dig my teeth into. Who knows, anything could happen. At the very least, it will help me pass the time before I start at BA.

And finally, a gambling update for those of you who are interested. Haven't really been doing much trading lately as all of the cricket is being played in Aus / NZ at the moment so it all happens in the middle of the night. Real pain in the ass. I've been playing a fair bit of poker to compensate, though at small stakes as my bankroll is too small for anything meaningful at the moment.

Ok, that should be my longest blog entry ever.

Thanks for reading!

J

Ass kicked by wine

Only another quick post as I'm about to head out for drinks down at the tennis club. Last night I was drinking wine, ended up having what must have been close to two bottles, which ended up in a funny story later on the tube later on... will post more about that soon.

Fortunately I escaped a hangover today, though I really deserved one. Just been lounging about, playing poker, same old. Will have to take a night off the booze tomorrow so I'm ready for Saturday's all-day session, starting with Birmingham v Arsenal at lunchtime.

Oh yeah, wrote some more of Pure White earlier...

Ok, gotta dash. Will do a proper post soon!

Chilling

Sorry for the lack of updates. Haven't been up to too much interesting, and this will just be a quick post as I'm just about to head out to the RE for lunch with the boys.

Stayed up pretty late last night watching the NZ v England cricket. Was all green, and woke up to find it was a tie. That's pretty rare, but that's life. Didn't lose anything, so can't complain too much.

Tonight I'm heading into London to watch the Arsenal v AC Milan game. Catching up with Alex and Carl afterwards too, which will be good.

Been playing a lot of poker lately, without any consistent winnings though. Will have to keep up the work.

Will do another post soon about my current job situation... there have been significant changes, but I'm still facing a couple of major dilemmas! Will also talk a bit about the new 'diet' I'm on...

Must be off, it's lunchtime....

More soon.

Job offer accepted

I was offered the job by British Airways this morning, starting 31 March, and I accepted. I feel like I should be breathing a huge sigh of relief that the seven-and-a-half-month unemployment chapter has finally been closed. However, is this really the end of the line? It might not be...

There are still six weeks to go before the job starts, during which time BA will be checking out my references. I know they will have to go through it 100% thoroughly as they have to comply with airside security rules, and these are pretty strict after 9/11. Thing is, they'll have trouble getting references for me from the swimming pool and from the gym that I worked at because that was a few years ago, and I know that my old bosses have moved on. It will be a problem getting an actual reference off someone who worked with me back in 2005. So that's one issue.

Also, I could hear from the Police during the six weeks, which would present me with a dilemma.

So, I'm not out of the woods yet. But it's a start. And it gives me an excuse to live these next six weeks to the max, in case this is the last period of freedom I have until 50 years' time.

Another thing. This doesn't mean that my gambling/trading is going to be hitting the back burner. In fact, probably the opposite. I've worked things out roughly, and have deducted any potential rent payments and petrol fees from the starting salary at BA. That's not including any utility bills or food. I'll have about £140 per week after living expenses. So I'll have to knuckle down and try to earn some extra cash from poker and sports trading.

So there you go, a warning that in six weeks I might actually be working. There's plenty that could go wrong before then though....!

Thanks for reading.

Saturday 9 February 2008

Sorry about the chopping and changing with the URL. Hopefully this one should be the final destination...

A quick warning; today's post is probably going to be slightly philosophical and possibly a bit sobering, though with a bit of luck it will end up having some kind of poignancy. We'll see how it goes.

I received another kind message from John the Gambler yesterday, advising me to 'do what you like. Do what you are good at, and your life will fall into place.' This seems to be a common recommendation to people who are unsure what to do in life, or unhappy with what they are currently doing. More often than not, the advice-giver is talking with the benefit of hindsight, which makes the advice even more valuable. So, I thought I'd dedicate today's entry to an investigation into how to apply this advice.

Step one, of course, is figuring out what I actually like, and what I'm good at. Well... obviously, I love gambling, sports and cards. They are my passions in life, without a shadow of a doubt. But am I good at them? I missed the window of opportunity to become a sportsman; no point worrying about that. Gambling - I've been gambling my whole life, and it's impossible for someone to be 'good' at it. Now trading is something completely different. I'm a raw novice trader as I've only been doing it for about nine months. I've definitely improved over this time, and have become very familiar with the golden concepts of success. Gradually, I'm acquanting myself with the finer points of it. However, this cannot be done overnight. You can trade for a whole lifetime and still not know 'everything'. To be an accomplished trader takes years, and a hell of a lot of studying, research and practice. So am I good at it? No. But I greatly enjoy it. Poker... I started playing in the sixth form, and was a losing player probably until the beginning of my final year at university. I know for a fact that I am improving all the time. I have no problems adhering to solid bankroll management principles. However, I have mighty trouble in controlling anger and tilt, and even bigger problems in stopping playing when I know that I'm not playing properly. This can only be solved over time and is something only I can help myself with. Am I good at poker? I'm ok, some of the time.

So, we've figured out what I like. And it turns out that I'm not really 'good' at any of it. However, the prospect of being a professional trader / cardplayer greatly appeals to me, and always has done. It always used to be some kind of ultimate fantasy, one that I knew I'd love to do but always thought would be impossible. Over the last few years however, I've been exposed in various arenas to real professionals. People who actually do it. It is possible after all. Sure, they don't go round driving in flash cars or with Page 3 girls hanging off their arms. They are shrewd, calculating individuals who have an edge. But I know it can be done.

'James, get real. It's time you began to think properly about life...'

I can't begin to estimate how many times I've been told that, or similar. And I can fully appreciate where those who say it are coming from. The old stigma about gambling and all that. But gambling is what I love, end of.

So the next step, is actually doing it. Sticking my fingers up to the world, saying that I don't care what everyone else thinks, this is what I'm going to do. The unfortunate thing is, gambling is a hobby like no other. If you're not good at it, you simply won't last. I could at least have a go at it. But my bankroll is negligible...

So get a job for the time being, then quit when you have a bankroll.

Well, that's a good idea.

Alas, I've been unable to find work for 8 months now. And there is the bane of my existence!

So I guess if there is a moral to this post, it concerns the inherent struggle that lies in taking the thing you love, and making it 'your life'. In fifty years I will probably look back and rue not taking the chance. Though at the moment, taking the chance seems a hugely unwise thing to do, and just 'being sensible' seems the only practical road to go down. I guess that's life eh?

Thanks for reading.

Friday 8 February 2008

Welcome to the resumption of the blog, and thanks for coming to the new site. I know the address is a bit of a pain, maybe one day I'll get a proper one. Just make sure you bookmark the site now before you forget the addy!

It's pretty annoying that I will lose all of the entries I made on the old blog, but I guess the chronicling of my life will just have to start again from here.As I'm starting again, I suppose it would be appropriate to re-introduce myself. However, I'm not a fan of writing 'personal profiles', as no matter how much effort you put in you can never read it back to yourself and think, "yes, that's me". All you need to know is that I'm a long-term man of leisure (you can use the 'U'-word if you want), I like trading on Betfair, playing poker, following sport and writing. At the moment I am on a perpetual mission to find a job, and the search doesn't look like it's going to be ending any time soon.

If you're an employer, all you need to know is that I have GCSE passes in Maths and English and I can type at 65 words per minute.If my current job applications all fail (the Police, BA, Betfair), I will probably take a plumbing course, start my own business and write a serious novel. How d'ya like that.Thanks for reading!